I’ve had people ask me, “Well isn’t it hard loving someone with bipolar disorder?” and I think to myself, “It’s no harder than loving anyone without it.” but I can never seem to explain to them how it is not different. Because they only see the outside of it all, they don’t get the full story. I think so many of them see it as an ongoing, every single day, major struggle. But it’s not.
It’s not hard because I don’t exclusively see his disorder. I don’t only factor that part of who he is into our entire relationship. Because it is not relevant nor does it define him. When you start to think of the disorder in that way, that is when it gets hard.
My fiancé is so much more than just his disorder. He is caring, compassionate, trusting, loving, brave, and kind. He has one of the biggest and strongest hearts I have ever known. He has a personality that can light up a room. And when you look at all that, you can forget about his disorder, because it will never define him.
There are hard days, don’t get me wrong, but every relationship has those. I think a lot of people think that because he is bipolar, he acts like a different person every day. But what they don’t realize is how the disorder really works. Even if his mood shifts, he is still himself. And even during an episode, it’s still him, just on an extreme level.
Something he has actually said himself is when you have bipolar disorder, you feel things and react to things on a more extreme level than the regular person. That’s probably the best way to describe how things may feel to someone who is bipolar. If someone told me something, I may react much more calmer than someone who is bipolar. And taking that into consideration can be helpful when learning how to talk to someone who is bipolar.
But even if things are viewed in more extremes for him, we are able to have a healthy and happy relationship. While I know that sometimes isn’t always possible for every single relationship, sometimes taking other things into consideration could be helpful if you want to work things out.
If you are in a relationship with someone who is bipolar, or you are yourself, what are some things your relationship struggles with? I’d love to hear from some of you in the comments and we can have a safe and open line of communication here.
I’m always here to help.